A lot has happened since I last posted and there are things i would like to talk about.. not like anyone reads this but i can vent without anyone freaking out at me
- I was given a very insulting gift
- i had another breakdown
- i made a plan
- i need money (Don’t we all)
- annoying posts on my facebook
- work issues
So back in June, I went home for a weekend and I had a great time until I was given a very very insulting gift. Did you know I got married? because I sure didn’t! I wasn’t even invited to my own fucking wedding! What a bitch I am! So anyways, my grandparents said that they felt bad that I wasn’t married yet or even close to getting married while my other 3 cousins are married and starting to have babies so they gave me my wedding gift that weekend. ARE YOU SERIOUS? why, yes.. yes I am. Instead of being decent human beings, my grandparents have given up on me getting married and given me my wedding gift (money) in advance. While they gave it to me, they said “do what you want with it, but don’t get tattoos.” So what did I do? I got 3 tattoos and put the rest in my savings account. I have gone through a lot of shit in my life but this is THEE most insulting thing I have ever gone through. It’s been 2 months and I’m still hurt. I was home 2 weeks ago and my grandparents wanted to see me and i said no. I have lost respect for them. I’m only 28, I have a shit ton of time to get married.
That brings me to my next breakdown… the pity gift really really upset me and then from there I started thinking about my life and what I have done. I have done nothing, I feel, that is worth being proud of. I’m still in debt from school, I am single (which my grandparents shoved down my throat), I don’t have a house or a new car, my job is wearing me out and I don’t feel supported or appreciated there (which i will get to in a little bit), and i’m just not happy. During this breakdown, I made a plan.. I keep very my plan vague on my facebook since I have work people on there… I am planning on quitting my current job by the end of September even if I don’t have another job lined up (it’s that bad) and either find someone to take over my lease and I move home or I wait until March 2016 when my lease is up and move back home. I’m done with London. I will miss my family & the shopping but I am so over everything I need the country life back.
I need money and I’m thinking about selling stuff on the side.. LEGIT STUFF! Like Scentsy or Jamberry nails… or make my own bathbombs or diaper cakes.. something.. anything to get me more money, especially if i’m going to be quitting my current job.
There’s this person I have on my friends list on facebook who is offended by everything but yet posts things saying “if your offended by what I’m posting unfriend me!” well anyways i dont have the heart to unfriend people. Today she posted about an unfortunate beheading in an Ikea in Sweden and her caption for the link she shared was “Seriously? Thats why we need to arm ourselves since Obama lets these idiot get away with this shit” i never ever comment on her stuff because she’s looking for attention but today I commented on this… I commented “I’m not sure how Obama fits into this since this attack happened in Sweden. Sad that this happened though…” and her reply was ” Cause he allows it to happen here at home(the states)” but seriously.. can anyone explain this? I really don’t understand the connection between something that happened in SWEDEN to Obama and the USA. HOW?! HOOOWWW??!?!?!?!?!?!?! i did the biggest face palm ever.
Work has gotten worse since January. I have overheard one of my coworkers talking about me… and making stuff up basically because I have NEVER done any of the stuff he said then I walk around the corner and the look on his face is a deer in headlights meets he just shit his pants. so there’s that.. and I’m relief, they need to ASK if i can come in, but since I always say yes and they expect me to come in every time, so now they don’t even ask they just say “so you’re working blah blah now would you rather this site or the other site?” um.. what? I do have a life outside of work. i dont sit on my couch with my phone in hand waiting to be called in. Like i have a dentist appt next week and they were like “okay so you’re working tuesday” i was like i have a dentist appt at 1030 i can’t work… and they ASKED ME TO RESCHEDULE MY APPOINTMENT! NO fuck you! the last fuck i gave was given before January. I am so fed up with everything and how one sided everything is. A coworker swore up a storm in reception and I got blamed for it because I am in reception. excuse me? why not ask me what happened before blaming me and giving me shit for ‘swearing’ the only time I do is when clients aren’t around and i’m comfortable with that co worker to talk that way. I dont drop the f-bomb. its usually just “shit.” but yeah I can’t take it. i’m so stressed out and can’t take this anymore. time to leave.
I have recently started watching a lot of new channels on Youtube. I’m obsessed (in a good way, not a stalker way) with Jenna Marbles’ channel, her boyfriend Julien’s channel, and their podcast channel, Nikkietutorials, Kandee Johnson, Bunny (grav3yardgirl or something) and a few others. I would love to start at channel but i don’t feel im creative enough and all the bullies & trolls would definitely comment about my looks & weight. I know i wouldn’t be able to take the hate. I think i need more confidence before I try this…
Okay well i think i’m done my rant for today.