Why I Finally Quit

What’s uuuup?

So I followed along with my plan but it was a month later than I previously mentiond. I quit October 16. I am currently unemployed but I am less stressed and not being verbally abused every shift. I wanted to wait until the end of October and have the 30th as my last day but something happened October 2nd that made me give my 2 weeks notice October 3.

A lot of it was building up to this moment: Not being supported at reception, lots of changes that no one told us about, clients were getting worse, and my boss was just lacking in manager skills.

Let me explain: With the bistro closing, the building was changed from a drop in centre to a by appt/group only kind of deal, which meant the staff who were on the main floor with me went away since they were no longer needed, which left me on the main floor alone with no back up. I worked at a Mental Health facility, there needs to be some mofo back up! Anyway, if I needed someone’s help I would have to email/call the person to come up and most times they would get annoyed and come up when they felt like it. The day before i gave my notice, one client came in 10 minutes before closing time and demanded I give him needles because he is “diabetic.” Well, I know he isn’t and he brags about getting high so I knew he just wanted to use them to get high, and I apologized and told him there were no nurses on staff right now and that I couldn’t give them to him. He then tried to punch me, he lunged at me full fist and i was able to move because he was so high that it was really slow. I called for back up and no one came. how fucking safe is that? thanks for coming to help when I almost got punched.. That was my last straw. I gave my notice and my boss was pissed that I was leaving. Another reason I left was because my hours were going to go down to relying on the new receptionist calling in sick and then i would get a call.. um how about no! from 35 hours a week to less than 25 to whenever someone is sick? no thanks, buh bye.

So yes, right now I am unemployed but I feel so much better and I’m not getting threatened daily, I don’t cry to and from work before and after every shift, I just… I’m slowly becoming me again. I think I may have cried 3 times since I left… but for other reasons, like I went home to visit everyone and I cried when I left because I miss them and the puppies. Another was when I was having a very anxious day, like my anxiety took over and I was worried about everything.

Well, I’ve rambled on enough for today… Time to play some more Lego Batman and apply for jobs… because that is what my life has come to right now haha not complaining!  it’s fun!

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Some rants and updates

A lot has happened since I last posted and there are things i would like to talk about.. not like anyone reads this but i can vent without anyone freaking out at me

  • I was given a very insulting gift
  • i had another breakdown
  • i made a plan
  • i need money (Don’t we all)
  • annoying posts on my facebook
  • work issues
  • youtube

So back in June, I went home for a weekend and I had a great time until I was given a very very insulting gift. Did you know I got married? because I sure didn’t! I wasn’t even invited to my own fucking wedding! What a bitch I am! So anyways, my grandparents said that they felt bad that I wasn’t married yet or even close to getting married while my other 3 cousins are married and starting to have babies so they gave me my wedding gift that weekend. ARE YOU SERIOUS? why, yes.. yes I am. Instead of being decent human beings, my grandparents have given up on me getting married and given me my wedding gift (money) in advance. While they gave it to me, they said “do what you want with it, but don’t get tattoos.” So what did I do? I got 3 tattoos and put the rest in my savings account. I have gone through a lot of shit in my life but this is THEE most insulting thing I have ever gone through. It’s been 2 months and I’m still hurt. I was home 2 weeks ago and my grandparents wanted to see me and i said no. I have lost respect for them. I’m only 28, I have a shit ton of time to get married.

That brings me to my next breakdown… the pity gift really really upset me and then from there I started thinking about my life and what I have done. I have done nothing, I feel, that is worth being proud of. I’m still in debt from school, I am single (which my grandparents shoved down my throat), I don’t have a house or a new car, my job is wearing me out and I don’t feel supported or appreciated there (which i will get to in a little bit), and i’m just not happy. During this breakdown, I made a plan.. I keep very my plan vague on my facebook since I have work people on there… I am planning on quitting my current job by the end of September even if I don’t have another job lined up (it’s that bad) and either find someone to take over my lease and I move home or I wait until March 2016 when my lease is up and move back home. I’m done with London. I will miss my family & the shopping but I am so over everything I need the country life back.

I need money and I’m thinking about selling stuff on the side.. LEGIT STUFF! Like Scentsy or Jamberry nails… or make my own bathbombs or diaper cakes.. something.. anything to get me more money, especially if i’m going to be quitting my current job.

There’s this person I have on my friends list on facebook who is offended by everything but yet posts things saying “if your offended by what I’m posting unfriend me!” well anyways i dont have the heart to unfriend people. Today she posted about an unfortunate beheading in an Ikea in Sweden and her caption for the link she shared was “Seriously? Thats why we need to arm ourselves since Obama lets these idiot get away with this shit”  i never ever comment on her stuff because she’s looking for attention but today I commented on this… I commented “I’m not sure how Obama fits into this since this attack happened in Sweden. Sad that this happened though…”   and her reply was ” Cause he allows it to happen here at home(the states)”   but seriously.. can anyone explain this? I really don’t understand the connection between something that happened in SWEDEN to Obama and the USA. HOW?! HOOOWWW??!?!?!?!?!?!?! i did the biggest face palm ever. 

Work has gotten worse since January. I have overheard one of my coworkers talking about me… and making stuff up basically because I have NEVER done any of the stuff he said then I walk around the corner and the look on his face is a deer in headlights meets he just shit his pants. so there’s that.. and I’m relief, they need to ASK if i can come in, but since I always say yes and they expect me to come in every time, so  now they don’t even ask they just say “so you’re working blah blah now would you rather this site or the other site?” um.. what? I do have a life outside of work. i dont sit on my couch with my phone in hand waiting to be called in. Like i have a dentist appt next week and they were like “okay so you’re working tuesday” i was like i have a dentist appt at 1030 i can’t work… and they ASKED ME TO RESCHEDULE MY APPOINTMENT! NO fuck you! the last fuck i gave was given before January. I am so fed up with everything and how one sided everything is. A coworker swore up a storm in reception and I got blamed for it because I am in reception. excuse me? why not ask me what happened before blaming me and giving me shit for ‘swearing’ the only time I do is when clients aren’t around and i’m comfortable with that co worker to talk that way. I dont drop the f-bomb. its usually just “shit.” but yeah I can’t take it. i’m so stressed out and can’t take this anymore. time to leave.

I have recently started watching a lot of new channels on Youtube. I’m obsessed (in a good way, not a stalker way) with Jenna Marbles’ channel, her boyfriend Julien’s channel, and their podcast channel, Nikkietutorials, Kandee Johnson, Bunny (grav3yardgirl or something) and a few others. I would love to start at channel but i don’t feel im creative enough and all the bullies & trolls would definitely comment about my looks & weight. I know i wouldn’t be able to take the hate. I think i need more confidence before I try this…

Okay well i think i’m done my rant for today.

April 14, 2015

Wow! I haven’t updated since November 2014….

Lots has happened… Where to start? (leaving some stuff out… )

  • got a new apartment
  • back down to relief hours instead of full time (not pleased)
  • i had a full on breakdown
  • i have been taken advantage of yet again
  • i like someone who put me in the friend zone (yup girls can be friend zoned too)
  • *someone* kept trying to message me and then i found out this someone went to MY friends

so some of this i will go into detail and others will just stay as vague bullets.

I just moved into a new apartment. My cousin enjoyed me living with her. Me being there put her at ease because of her health issues, I would be there in case something happened when her bf was gone. I looked after the dogs when they were gone, usual things you would do… but then her boyfriend thought that I was snooping in the house which i would never do. i didn’t even go in their bedroom when she was in there. i would stand in the doorway and talk to her from there. so he thought i was an invasion of privacy, that i was awkward, and too quiet.. um hello… too quiet? would you rather me have parties every night? you’re dumb, dude. besides i was giving you extra money every month! oh well your loss. and the nerve of the guy… on moving day he hid upstairs and didn’t even have the balls to help. he was afraid my family would yell at him. fuck you bud…

My friend, I like to call my adopted mother, back home told me that she and her boyfriend had a visitor a while ago… This pissed me the fuck off. It still does, my blood boils just thinking of it.. I’m not sure if you still read these or not here’s a message for you… leave me and my family alone. Yes they are my family. Leave them alone, don’t bring them into your bullshit of trying to talk to me again. You aren’t getting any more chances, you shouldn’t even have had the amount I gave you before! Yes I may be single for 3 yrs now, but i’d rather be single than put up with your bullshit anymore. I do not care if you think you went through what you put me through… go through it for 5 years THEN come tell me you did.. not a few fucking months… either way i wish i could say this to you in person, but i made a promise to myself i would never see you again because you are toxic. Leave me & my family alone.

On a brighter note…. well honestly I don’t have one right now. So I’m going to end this now before it gets worse.

LCBO COMPLAINT

There’s this 1 cashier I always seem to get when I go to the LCBO in the Cherryhill Mall.. She’s SO rude!! DEMANDS ID as if i’m underage or it would be fake, scoffs when she sees it, grabs my airmiles out of my hand as i’m still taking it out of my wallet, scans it, and with my hand out to have her give it back she slams it on the counter, never gives me the total then stands there waiting for my money…
Such a bitch… Like I’m not sorry I’m 27 and apparently look 18 and that you’re an old hag….

When I Die….

I will have an open letter to everyone telling them how I really feel about them, and then telling them if i want them to show up at my funeral or not.. especially if they weren’t there to support me when I was alive… why grieve me when I’m gone?!

I’m tired of people treating me like shit. All I do is give give give and everyone just says “fuck you” I HAVE DONE NOTHING TO YOU! WHY ARE YOU TREATING ME LIKE I DID?! get off your high horses because i’m just as good as anyone else… stop making it seem like I am scum!

What I’m not

I am many things.. but what I’m not is…
1. Loved
2. a wife
3. a girlfriend
4. a mother
5. a sister
6. skinny
7. beautiful
8. pretty
9. confident
10. in love

the list goes on… but it’s really depressing and I’m done with this post. 

Things That Annoy Me

– people who pull out in front of me and go slow even though there is no one behind me. Wait 10 seconds asshole…
– when people get mad that I’m taking more than 5 seconds to reply to a message. But yet take half a day to reply to me.
– people in a 12 items or less line with a cart full
– when people say “meh”
– picketers…. yes I get it you’re against abortion but I am not. Don’t force your beliefs on me I don’t force mine on you.
– people who don’t let people off the elevator before they start coming on…
– people who forget to drive in the winter
– I’m the driver. Unless otherwise stated do NOT touch my radio.
– when people judge me for which bands I like or don’t like… I don’t make fun of yours.. unless its bieber or swift.. so don’t make fun of mine.
– when people say my apartment is messy. GEE THANKS! Im so glad you mentioned it because I had no idea.
– campers in call of duty
– when drivers don’t signal
– endless selfies on my effing facebook wall..
– inappropriate drunken behaviour
– when I want to talk about something with me but it always ends up being about the other person.. oh… okay back to you. I guess the world revolves around you not the sun….
– closed mindedness.
– when I’m pressured into finding a husband. I’m sorry… want me to go back to someone who treated me like shit just so I can have a kid that I don’t want with him and then end up divorced with a kid that looks like him? No, you can effing wait until I find my Mr. Right, not “Mr. With him around there will be a wedding babies and divorce”.
– unnecessary braking. Or ask I call it crying brake.
– when my crush is judged. I can like whoever I effing want to.
– when the pot smell whofts into my apartment from the hall. I DO NOT SMOKE NOR DO I WANT TO EVER SMOKE POT SO I DON’T NEED THE SECOND HAND POT SMOKE COMING INTO MY APARTMENT